Posts Tagged ‘hate’

Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research

Posted on July 29th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine.

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Why I can’t do Facebook

Posted on April 15th, 2010 by Hateful Man

Elf Wax columnist and internet rapist Al Stephenson delivers a biting review of the social networking fucksite, Facebook.

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An Alternative Earth – by Adolf Hitler

Posted on April 13th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

Hitler had a Plan B: to secretly colonize the Moon, built by troops launched from Antarctica.

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CAPS LOCK ULTRA

Posted on March 27th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.

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ANTI-WAR PROTEST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Posted on March 19th, 2010 by The Elf Wax Times

Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six.

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Anti-hate protest results in ‘no additional love’

Posted on March 10th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices.

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Eleven dead after release of new McDonald’s “food product”

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different.

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Google and the LHC converge to snuff humanity

Posted on November 24th, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google?

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Online Gamers Constitute 90 Percent of World’s Racists

Posted on November 22nd, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help?

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The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…

Posted on November 20th, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government.

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Zz4gLSAyNTA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190YWJzPC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gZmFsc2U8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190aGVtZW5hbWU8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSBHYXpldHRlPC9saT48bGk+PHN0cm9uZz53b29fdGh1bWJfaGVpZ2h0PC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gPC9saT48bGk+PHN0cm9uZz53b29fdGh1bWJfd2lkdGg8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb192aWRlb19jYXRlZ29yeTwvc3Ryb25nPiAtIExvY2FsPC9saT48L3VsPg==