We no longer love you, but that does not mean we stopped loving ourselves. You just weren’t ready.
Read the rest of this entry »Posts Tagged ‘elf wax times’
STAY INDOORS! DEADLY GEMINID METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT
Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath.
Read the rest of this entry »The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…
This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government.
Read the rest of this entry »FUCK YOUR BLOG
The Elf Wax Times toils into the wee hours of the morning to bring you part one in an unlimited-part series: VOTE DOWN THE INTERNET, HAIL THE ELF WAX TIMES
Read the rest of this entry »The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success
The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is!
Read the rest of this entry »Elf Wax Times announces anti-lesbian platform
The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom.
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