Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine.
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Special Interest’ Category
To The Elf Wax Loyalist Party
We no longer love you, but that does not mean we stopped loving ourselves. You just weren’t ready.
Read the rest of this entry »The New Shit (part 2)
You elected a two-dollar whore and got mad ’cause he blows like a porn star. Let’s talk about landing people on the asteroids.
Read the rest of this entry »Noteworthy note reveals autonomous manifestation as method of existence
An Oshawa resident passes a cryptic note to a passenger on the subway who then uploaded it to the internet. Questions were asked. The truth is here.
Read the rest of this entry »CAPS LOCK ULTRA
Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.
The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…
This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government.
Read the rest of this entry »Panama Monster is missing link
Discovery of the horrible Monster of Panama sheds new light on Bigfoot, Nessie origins.
Read the rest of this entry »The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success
The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is!
Read the rest of this entry »God damn internet
The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos.
Read the rest of this entry »Meet your new Elf Wax reporter!
The Elf Wax Times is proud to bring you fresh talent and new insight! Join us to learn more about your fearless new writer.
Read the rest of this entry »
