Archive for the ‘Special Interest’ Category

Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research

Posted on July 29th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine.

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To The Elf Wax Loyalist Party

Posted on June 21st, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

We no longer love you, but that does not mean we stopped loving ourselves. You just weren’t ready.

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The New Shit (part 2)

Posted on June 1st, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

You elected a two-dollar whore and got mad ’cause he blows like a porn star. Let’s talk about landing people on the asteroids.

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Noteworthy note reveals autonomous manifestation as method of existence

Posted on March 31st, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

An Oshawa resident passes a cryptic note to a passenger on the subway who then uploaded it to the internet. Questions were asked. The truth is here.

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CAPS LOCK ULTRA

Posted on March 27th, 2010 by a faceless conglomerate

Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.

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The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…

Posted on November 20th, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government.

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Panama Monster is missing link

Posted on October 3rd, 2009 by Kilgore Trout

Discovery of the horrible Monster of Panama sheds new light on Bigfoot, Nessie origins.

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The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success

Posted on September 21st, 2009 by The Elf Wax Times

The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is!

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God damn internet

Posted on August 31st, 2009 by a faceless conglomerate

The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos.

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Meet your new Elf Wax reporter!

Posted on August 28th, 2009 by Charlie

The Elf Wax Times is proud to bring you fresh talent and new insight! Join us to learn more about your fearless new writer.

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Zz4gLSAyNTA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190YWJzPC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gZmFsc2U8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb190aGVtZW5hbWU8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSBHYXpldHRlPC9saT48bGk+PHN0cm9uZz53b29fdGh1bWJfaGVpZ2h0PC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gPC9saT48bGk+PHN0cm9uZz53b29fdGh1bWJfd2lkdGg8L3N0cm9uZz4gLSA8L2xpPjxsaT48c3Ryb25nPndvb192aWRlb19jYXRlZ29yeTwvc3Ryb25nPiAtIExvY2FsPC9saT48L3VsPg==