Obama institutes Muslim Christmas, an official U.S. Holiday that is not to be reckoned with. War on Terror is ‘over’ – terror decidedly winner.

Let it be known that The Elf Wax Times actually posted something on Christmas. We are paid in pure, uncut cocaine.

Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath.

As it was foretold in the final book of Daniel, Jesus Christ has once again arisen to appear in Treyarch’s Nazi Zombies!

Has the gubment taken your pension? Is the man keeping you down? Look no further than the government to get you back on your feet.

A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore [...]

“When Miley Cyrus broke the sound barrier, we thought we’d seen everything. However, after punching through the Earth’s exosphere, the Disney Star approached escape velocity at 7 miles per second, then exploded brilliantly into a stream of atoms.“ -Eyewitness report Miley Cyrus, moments before reaching critical mass over the Pacific Ocean Astronomers worldwide confirmed Miley’s [...]

Los Angeles, Ca.–Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and author of the popular 2007 book Death by Black Hole, confirmed the Earth is in fact doomed to survive through the routine events of December 21, 2012. The educated assurance of this world-renowned scientist is rumored by analysts to have no bearing on those who already believe the [...]

There is nothing wrong with religion. I have no problem with religion. Religious people, on the other hand, are a different story. Why can’t someone go to church, rejoice, pray, go home, and keep their beliefs to themselves? Why can’t religious people simply enjoy their religion, without trying to force it on other people, or [...]

Gaia Online has suffered extreme hyperinflation in the past weeks, as the value of gold plummeted. The crux of Gaia’s economy is a steady flow of art-themed posting. Poetry, photography, and art of all kind and quality are equally rewarded. Through time, however, the quality of this art has completely degenerated beyond the point of [...]