The Large Hadron Collider makes the Death Star look like a bitch, and HAL 9000 feel like a dumbass.
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category
CAPS LOCK ULTRA
Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.
Google Googles self, search feature ‘disabled until further notice’
Google collapsed under the weight of its own self-searching, a glitch that has cost many their lives. Why, God, why?
Read the rest of this entry »Big Brother is watching you
FBI “head” Robert Mueller is requesting MOAR information from ISPs to aid in his quest for precious SAUCE or possibly get into human trafficking.
Read the rest of this entry »The Hottest Little Hacker On The Intertits
Fuck yeah. Local hacker pwns PS3 at something other than Modern Warfare 2.
Read the rest of this entry »Smartphones “overtake” humanity
Google’s amazing new Nexus One is probably smarter than you are, and cooler too. It already has more friends.
Read the rest of this entry »Newest iPhone app makes terrorism simpler
iJihad has released a new app that makes downing an airliner a touch away.
Read the rest of this entry »Internet addiction ‘doubles teen self harm’
China has conducted a very unbiased survey of a small group of Communism-loving teenagers who find themselves victimized by the Internet.
Read the rest of this entry »Pirates awash with Windows 7 theft orgy
Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards!
Read the rest of this entry »Google and the LHC converge to snuff humanity
Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google?
Read the rest of this entry »
