Got life? Try heroin!
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Health’ Category
Sarah Palin illegally crosses border to receive free health care
Whitehorse, Canada–Sarah Palin was seen jumping out of a dirty, overloaded pick up truck Tuesday and crossing the Canadian border to steal single-payer Health Care.
Read the rest of this entry »New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity
We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it.
Read the rest of this entry »Eleven dead after release of new McDonald’s “food product”
Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different.
Read the rest of this entry »SWINE FLU FOUND IN CATS
THE CDC HAS ISSUED A PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT FOLLOWING DISCOVERY OF A SWINE FLU STRAIN THAT MUTATES ONCE INSIDE DOMESTICATED CATS
Read the rest of this entry »IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DEMONSTRATION RE: ALL DRUGS
A study conducted by the trustworthy United States Government reveals all drugs fuck you up equally, severely and permanently.
Read the rest of this entry »Facebook drinking at an all-time high
Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score.
Read the rest of this entry »Jon and Kate Plus Hate
John and Kate, the bickering parents of 8 children have filed for divorce.
Read the rest of this entry »Area man reheats macaroni, “Isn’t the same”
Roanoke, Va. – Steve Grabowski, a Roanoke factory worker, was disappointed [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Stoner realizes speed of Earth’s movement through space, blows mind
A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore [...]
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