Got life? Try heroin!
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Science’ Category
The Final Conspiracy
The Large Hadron Collider makes the Death Star look like a bitch, and HAL 9000 feel like a dumbass.
Read the rest of this entry »CAPS LOCK ULTRA
Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.
Google Googles self, search feature ‘disabled until further notice’
Google collapsed under the weight of its own self-searching, a glitch that has cost many their lives. Why, God, why?
Read the rest of this entry »Sarah Palin illegally crosses border to receive free health care
Whitehorse, Canada–Sarah Palin was seen jumping out of a dirty, overloaded pick up truck Tuesday and crossing the Canadian border to steal single-payer Health Care.
Read the rest of this entry »New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity
We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it.
Read the rest of this entry »Elf Wax Thought Crimes
Miami, Fl.–Journey through yourself in man’s quest for the chaos generator. Read more to find out who, if anyone, plucks the strings of existence. Elf Wax psychoanalysts are standing by.
Read the rest of this entry »Big Brother is watching you
FBI “head” Robert Mueller is requesting MOAR information from ISPs to aid in his quest for precious SAUCE or possibly get into human trafficking.
Read the rest of this entry »The Hottest Little Hacker On The Intertits
Fuck yeah. Local hacker pwns PS3 at something other than Modern Warfare 2.
Read the rest of this entry »Smartphones “overtake” humanity
Google’s amazing new Nexus One is probably smarter than you are, and cooler too. It already has more friends.
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