Mayor Dwight C. Jones allegedly took part in an illegal child-fighting ring that Elf Wax speculates has connections to football God Michael Vick.

Witnesses have stated that the power line seems to be a size 11 wide.

As we all know, Barack Hussein Obama has purposefully begun his career by attacking America’s core values and principles with his decree to allow baby-killings, gay marriages, and practice of Islam. This all makes sense insofar as Hussein is a leftist hippie freak who believes in Marxism, a synonym for evil. However, as an alleged [...]

Head. Fellatio. Hummer. Blowjob. Going down. Tooting the horn. Playing the skin flute. Smoking the pole. Polishing the knob. Addressing the court. No matter what you call it, we all love it. If you can find a girl who is good at it, and will do it regularly, you should marry her…….marry her right now, [...]

Gaia Online has suffered extreme hyperinflation in the past weeks, as the value of gold plummeted. The crux of Gaia’s economy is a steady flow of art-themed posting. Poetry, photography, and art of all kind and quality are equally rewarded. Through time, however, the quality of this art has completely degenerated beyond the point of [...]

Children of all ages lined up in front of their schools today only to learn that classes were canceled indefinitely. A victory every man can taste Professors of social sciences, military advisers to the President of the United States of America, leading geneticists, politicians and local leaders from every recognized country, island, village outpost and [...]

Armed cattlemen gather to wrangle upsheep-like capital resource Our generation is doomed to the cooperation of all distributors of every major known resource in a valiant effort to turn a buck on the entire human race at each opportunity, degenerating us with PR incentives into an unquestioning, unthinking, digitally satisfied, technologically gratified, self-tending human plantation. [...]

Killer, presidential candidate Manson, 2009 Charles Manson: due to be released in the year 2012, the world-famous serial killer is up for his twelfth parole hearing on the final notch in the Mayan calendar, and he’s already announced new plans to get an acid-washed desert cult underway in the hope of advancing the great holy [...]

Gaia is great because it is full of people who just can’t seem to get a grip on real life at all. With all its fantasy role-playing, cliquishness, inside jokes, and the unending affection of total strangers, it is a welcome hideout for the socially awkward to escape to. It’s also a place, however, that [...]

Our right to privacy extends only as far as our ability to protect it since technological advancement and the government have joined hands against us. The right to privacy will be as void for humanity as the right to a fair trial was to the Guantanamo Bay detainees. We’re basically doomed to an existence carried [...]