A local pig brings home the bacon at the expense of decency, human evolution, and his own reputation.
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category
NEW MANDATE: Guns for the Blind
A group of people once discriminated against by gun traders are now required by law to carry a sidearm.
Read the rest of this entry »Open Letter to Danny Gilmore
For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything.
Read the rest of this entry »Sarah Palin illegally crosses border to receive free health care
Whitehorse, Canada–Sarah Palin was seen jumping out of a dirty, overloaded pick up truck Tuesday and crossing the Canadian border to steal single-payer Health Care.
Read the rest of this entry »Blow the man down
Heterosexual representative of New York Eric Massa has admitted to being homosexual by not admitting to anything. Everybody’s a little bit gay.
Read the rest of this entry »Big Brother is watching you
FBI “head” Robert Mueller is requesting MOAR information from ISPs to aid in his quest for precious SAUCE or possibly get into human trafficking.
Read the rest of this entry »Obama Meets Terrorist Demands
Obama institutes Muslim Christmas, an official U.S. Holiday that is not to be reckoned with. War on Terror is ‘over’ – terror decidedly winner.
Read the rest of this entry »Google and the LHC converge to snuff humanity
Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google?
Read the rest of this entry »Richmond Mayor forces two children to fight
Mayor Dwight C. Jones allegedly took part in an illegal child-fighting ring that Elf Wax speculates has connections to football God Michael Vick.
Read the rest of this entry »Neighborhood Puzzled By Shoe-Wearing Power Line
Witnesses have stated that the power line seems to be a size 11 wide.
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