Twisted combinations of acid and 24-hour news have turned one local man’s life into a waking nightmare.
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the ‘Local’ Category
Sarah Palin: Happy Marmot Day!
Sarah Palin is currently a bottomless source of hysteria on FOX News, but today her fucked up political career comes back to haunt her, for tomorrow is … Marmot Day!
Read the rest of this entry »Help, I’ve swallowed a fishhook!
OH MY GOD WHAT I HAVE DONE!!!1 PLZ HELP ME PLEEEZ!!!! BR? GIBE MONEY PLZ, WTS HEAVY AXE (lol n00bz)
Read the rest of this entry »Eleven dead after release of new McDonald’s “food product”
Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different.
Read the rest of this entry »Neighborhood Puzzled By Shoe-Wearing Power Line
Witnesses have stated that the power line seems to be a size 11 wide.
Read the rest of this entry »Illegal Monopoly strategy results in Michigan arrest
A stunning Monopoly play resulted in an arrest Thursday as a 54-year-old man robbed another player in-game.
Read the rest of this entry »Area man reheats macaroni, “Isn’t the same”
Roanoke, Va. – Steve Grabowski, a Roanoke factory worker, was disappointed [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Stoner realizes speed of Earth’s movement through space, blows mind
A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Dick, Dedication, and the American Dream
Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I decided, wasn’t my thing at that age. I [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Noggin
Head. Fellatio. Hummer. Blowjob. Going down. Tooting the horn. Playing the skin flute. Smoking the pole. Polishing the knob. Addressing the court. No matter what you call it, we all love it. If you can find a girl who is good at it, and will do it regularly, you should marry her…….marry her right now, [...]
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