Politics
Blow the man down
Heterosexual representative of New York Eric Massa has admitted to being homosexual by not admitting to anything. Everybody's a little bit gay.
Hate
Anti-hate protest results in ‘no additional love’
The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices.
Entertainment, News, Society
Movie Chase Scene Escalates To Rooftop
A viewer watching the events unfold told the Times, "It's like nothing [he'd] ever seen before," adding that he had not seen many action films.
Health
New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity
We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it.
Science
Elf Wax Thought Crimes
Miami, Fl.--Journey through yourself in man's quest for the chaos generator. Read more to find out who, if anyone, plucks the strings of existence. Elf Wax psychoanalysts are standing by.
Politics
Blow the man down
Posted on 11 March 2010
Heterosexual representative of New York Eric Massa has admitted to being homosexual by not admitting to anything. Everybody's a little bit gay. Continue Reading
Hate
Anti-hate protest results in ‘no additional love’
Posted on 10 March 2010
The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices. Continue Reading
Entertainment, News, Society
Movie Chase Scene Escalates To Rooftop
Posted on 04 March 2010
A viewer watching the events unfold told the Times, "It's like nothing [he'd] ever seen before," adding that he had not seen many action films. Continue Reading
Health
New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity
Posted on 02 March 2010
We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it. Continue Reading
Science
Elf Wax Thought Crimes
Posted on 01 March 2010
Miami, Fl.--Journey through yourself in man's quest for the chaos generator. Read more to find out who, if anyone, plucks the strings of existence. Elf Wax psychoanalysts are standing by. Continue Reading
Reviews
Larry And His Flask
Posted on 23 February 2010
The Elf Wax Times got fucking wasted and saw a great show, vomited in an alleyway, then drove home to tell you about it. Continue Reading
News
The Third World War on the Third World
Posted on 13 February 2010
NEW! MCMAFIA FROM MCDONALD'S, sold only in Italy. Read to find out what Sarah Palin's hand has to say. Spoiler Alert: it's not a handjob or else she wouldn't have retarded children. Continue Reading
Reviews
Chris Crocker’s Internet Boyfriend Search
Posted on 09 February 2010
Elf Wax takes you on an inside look at a sad internet character's contest and the sadder people who seek to be his boyfriend. Continue Reading
Law, Technology
Big Brother is watching you
Posted on 07 February 2010
FBI "head" Robert Mueller is requesting MOAR information from ISPs to aid in his quest for precious SAUCE or possibly get into human trafficking. Continue Reading
News
Auto-tuned auto-tuning machine auto-tuned for the first time
Posted on 05 February 2010
T-Pain's irresponsible use of what used to be known as "the Cher machine" has led to a breakdown of global economic politics hinging on the Panama Canal. Continue Reading
Uncontrollable Patriotism
Last Remains of Peace Scattered
Posted on 03 February 2010
Gandhi's ashes have been swept into the sea. Now the rest of India and Pakistan prepare for the same immediate fate, as peace crumbles worldwide. Continue Reading
Local
Sarah Palin: Happy Marmot Day!
Posted on 01 February 2010
Sarah Palin is currently a bottomless source of hysteria on FOX News, but today her fucked up political career comes back to haunt her, for tomorrow is ... Marmot Day! Continue Reading
-
CATEGORIES
- Editorial (33)
- Entertainment (45)
- Hate (1)
- Health (39)
- Law (21)
- Local (40)
- Local (14)
- News (65)
- Obituaries (19)
- Politics (38)
- Religion (19)
- Reviews (4)
- Science (40)
- Society (45)
- Special Interest (43)
- Sports (7)
- Status Quo (30)
- Technology (30)
- Uncontrollable Patriotism (29)
- World (34)
-
ARCHIVES
- March 2010 (5)
- February 2010 (7)
- January 2010 (6)
- December 2009 (5)
- November 2009 (8)
- October 2009 (8)
- September 2009 (8)
- August 2009 (11)
- July 2009 (10)
- June 2009 (20)
- May 2009 (21)
- April 2009 (14)
- March 2009 (8)
- February 2009 (3)
- January 2009 (3)
- November 2008 (2)
- October 2008 (1)
- June 2008 (1)
- May 2008 (3)
- April 2008 (7)
- March 2008 (10)
- February 2008 (5)
- January 2008 (6)
- December 2007 (4)
- November 2007 (1)
- October 2007 (6)
- March 1957 (1)
